Hope - a shift in perspective

I am trying really hard to enjoy the prospect of hope. I am the first to admit I do find it difficult, it can be really hard to have your hopes crushed time and time again. But if the Monkey has shown me anything, it is that all the crap times are very much worth that moment of brilliance when it happens.

So I am hanging on, trying to enjoy the ride. Because who knows, if ever, I will get to enjoy this part of the ride again?

I am waiting to get to a destination, but nobody can tell me when I will get there. Or indeed if I will ever get there. It may be a day, a month, a year, a number of years... or never. But if you have to take the ride, why not enjoy all it has to offer in the process? Why not hold onto hope sometimes? Sure it hurts, but there is actually a real sense of living in the prospect of it all, the what-ifs, the day dreams.

I didn't do that part well the first time. There was no inbetween. At first I had eternal hope, and then suddenly I had absolutely none. So much so, that when it finally happened, I struggled to come to terms with it for a little while, because I was actually quite numb to the whole thing.

So I am trying to change my perspective. I want to let hope in a bit, enjoy what it has to offer, without letting it crush me if things don't work out.

I think I am doing okay, and I am proud of that.