They were the best of times, they were the worst of times

We had my gorgeous best friend and her hubby over for tea last night, and my plan was to make homemade pizzas and pizza dough. The thing was, come ten o'clock yesterday I suddenly had a brainwave to make a chocolate tart for dessert. Big mistake #1, but of course I didn't know that at the time.

So realising I didn't have a tart pan, I trotted down to the local shopping centre to find one as well as a few ingredients I needed. I really should have taken the fact that they didn't have one as a sign. Big mistake #2.

So I got the few things I needed and then drove to another shopping centre to find said tart pan, also realising I had forgotten the cream at the first shops in my haste to find this pan. I found a pan at a decent price and picked up the cream and trotted off home in a happy haze, ready to make the most delicious tart ever.

FIVE HOURS LATER I was snapping at the HTC and wishing I had never come up with the stupid idea. I mixed the first lot of dough, split it into two as it was a double batch but the shortening never melted together as it was supposed to, so it had chunks of shortening through it. Delightful. But still I persevered, hoping it would melt together in the baking stage. Big mistake #3.

So I rolled it out so it was bigger than the pan and put it into bake. Of course the shortening didn't melt properly but that was the very least of my problems. The pan I bought had a very sharp edge, and I thought I was being clever by leaving extra dough around the edges, but the weight of it simply meant it cut itself off in the oven and left lovely great chunks of tart casing everywhere. Luverly. And what I was actually left with was a circle of casing all of 2mm thick that broke when you looked at it sideways.

Enter the HTC with all fabulous suggestions about the million things I had done wrong. (Let me preface this by saying the HTC is a wonderful cook, but has no idea about baking, he thinks baking recipes are just a very lose guide and doesn't quite understand why things don't neccesarily work this way!) Enter me, chasing him around the house with a kitchen knife in a wonderful fantasy in my head.

So me being Little Miss Stubborn realises she still has another half of dough in the fridge and decides to have a second go at baking the casing again - this time it has to work right? And taking the HTC advice I put rice in the base to stop it from lifting. Big Mistake #4.

And in my confidence and arrogance that I am going to get this right, I start on making the chocolate filling that is going to go in my perfectly baked tart case that will no doubt be turned out of the oven in 15 minutes.

About 5 minutes in, I check in to see the casing baking away, but suddenly realise that this obviously isn't the type of tart casing that you weight down when you blind bake, as the rice has sunken into the melting casing and it actually now part of the base. Hmmmmmm. Try to scrape it off, not a chance!

Second tart casing in the bin, any sane woman would cut her losses at this point surely?! Not this little black duck. I had the filling sitting there, it would be a waste just to chuck it wouldn't it?! So off I go to mix a third batch of dough, deciding that this time I will make it thicker so it gives me a decent base for the tart. Big mistake #935.

This one doesn't bake too bad but ends up very thick. But hey, I am excited I may actually be able to attempt to put the filling in this one at the very least. And it's only five hours in...why not give it a go?

So the filling goes in and I put it in to set. Which it doesn't. Even 6 hours later. ARGH.

But hey, with all the effort and ingredients I put into it and guests hankering for dessert, I decide to give it a go anyway.

I really think if I had tried to cook it the way it turned out I could never replicate it. I could never get the dough so thick and tasteless. And surely I could only manage to get the texture of the filling to be similar if I had left a tub of icecream out in the sun for a day or two.

Disaster does not quite describe it I must admit. And it will be a cold day in that place down there before I try this again.

But you know what? I also made homemade pizza dough in my gorgeous mixer that was so light and fluffy and delicious, and had the most wonderful toppings and perfect consitency when it came out of the oven. This took all of 30 minutes to prepare, and I seriously am struggling to remember when I have ever eaten such yummy pizza in my life and the HTC agrees.

Sometimes the simple things are most definitely the best.